Why to stop saying ‘Be careful!’—and what to say instead

“Be careful” may be the first phrase that comes to mind when your toddler starts to stand up under the kitchen table or reaches out to touch an unfamiliar dog. The problem is, those words have more meaning for you than they do for your toddler. While the message may seem clear to an adult, it isn’t specific enough for a young child to act on. Directly telling them what you want them to do can be more effective.

Some things you can say instead of “Be careful”

The occasional “Be careful!” isn’t harmful, but it’s better to give your toddler clear, explicit directions or direct their attention to the hazard. For example, you can try saying:

1. “Look up” or “Stay low” when they’re about to hit their head 
2. “Feet first” if they’re preparing to go down something (like stairs) head first
3. “Stay still” if there’s a bee nearby and you want them to stop moving (if you say “Stop,” they may not know exactly what you want them to stop doing)
4. “Wait there” if they take off running and you need them to stop
5. “That’s hot!” as you point to a cup of coffee  
6. “Go slow” if you’re worried they’re moving too quickly
7. “Wave and say, ‘Hi’” if they’re approaching a dog
8. Nothing at all if you take a moment and realize that your child might be able to navigate the situation safely on their own—and build confidence by doing so.

You can follow up after your child has stopped the dangerous behavior by letting them know what to avoid in the future: “Some dogs get scared by new people and hurt them. We always say hi and ask the owner before we pet a dog we don’t know.”

How to handle dangerous situations

When your toddler is doing or about to do something that could really hurt them, like touching an unprotected electrical outlet, call out with a firm “Ouch!” or “Hot!” and then tell them simply what the danger was: “Outlets can hurt you.” You can also say, “No!” but try to reserve it for times like these rather than everyday actions that aren’t imminently dangerous.