Adding a new member to the family is a big deal—and it can come with both excitement and uncertainty. Who will this new little person be and how will your older child respond to them?  

Many children become big siblings at an age already filled with big emotions and boundary testing. Though every child’s experience is different, there are some simple things you can do to ease the transition and build a strong sibling relationship from the start

1. Help your older child understand the changes that are coming 

Many older siblings haven’t had much or any exposure to newborns—and their idea of what a baby is, does, or needs may not be very accurate. Here are some ways to help:

• Read the Lovevery Baby is Born book together. Use simple, accurate language to reinforce the rituals of taking care of a newborn: “Coco is drinking milk from her mama’s breast. That’s how your sister will eat, too.”
• Show your child photos from just before and after they were born. Offer a clear explanation to help them understand what they see: “You were inside Mama’s belly, and then you came out. Your legs and feet were so tiny. See how they were curled up?”
• Do a house tour to help your child visualize the changes. Use a doll to demonstrate how and where you’ll feed, change, bathe, and care for their new sibling. Include specific details about what will happen—for both the baby and them. For example, you might put the doll in your newborn’s bedside bassinet and say, “This is where the baby will sleep. Tiny babies sleep in a room with grown-ups because this is where their body is safe. You will still sleep in your own cozy crib where your body is safe.”
  

2. Practice being gentle and quiet in advance 

Modulating touch and volume is a learned skill that many older siblings need help to develop. These activities are great preparation:

• Encourage your child to practice gently touching something delicate, like a flower, so they can see the effect of their actions. Speak quietly and move slowly as you narrate what’s happening: “Ooh, looks like that was too much for the flower.” 
• Make just the smallest impression in some modeling dough and quietly say, “Gentle touch.” Then shape it into a ball and smash it forcefully and say, “ROUGH!” Invite your child to do the same.
• Sing a goodnight song with your older child as you pretend to put a doll or stuffed animal to bed. Whisper, “Shhhhh, the baby is sleeping. We’re going to use our quiet voices.”
• Pick some favorite animal sounds and model how to say each one—first loudly, then quietly.
  

3. After the baby arrives, invite—but don’t push—your older child to help care for them

Research suggests that opportunities to tune into and respond to a sibling’s needs can lead to a close, mutually empathic relationship down the line. 

If your newborn starts to cry as you play with your older child, you might say, “I hear the baby. I wonder what they need. Would you like to figure it out with me?” Inviting them into the problem-solving process may help your older child feel better about interruptions and sharing your attention. If they don’t seem interested, that’s okay—too much pressure can backfire.

For more ideas, check out The New Siblings Course Pack. It includes:

• Guidance ranging from how to share the news with your older child to how to support positive sibling relationships throughout your new baby’s first year.
• Expert advice and activities to help your older child prepare for and process the upcoming changes.
• Play ideas for building big-sibling skills.
• Tips for welcoming the new baby and making sure your older child still feels loved and included.
• Advice on how to support your children’s interactions while keeping your newborn safe.
• Suggestions for how to create a shared playspace and realistic, low-prep sibling play ideas.
• And so much more…

The New Sibling Course Pack

$

Support your older child’s transition to siblinghood.

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