There’s nothing quite like bringing home a newborn, with all the joy, wonder, and—yes, exhaustion 🙃 Even with preparation and research, it can feel like a huge adjustment. We asked experienced parents what they wish someone had told them during the first week with their new baby. From managing their own expectations to setting boundaries with visitors, here’s their best advice:

Take it easy, and give yourself grace. Try to temporarily let go of any goals other than caring for your baby and recovering yourself. This is enough. 

• If you accomplish one additional task every day—a load of laundry, one-on-one time with an older child, scheduling a follow-up doctor’s appointment—consider yourself an overachiever. 
• Remember that caring for yourself is caring for your baby. As much as you can, prioritize your own physical and mental well-being. What your baby needs more than anything is you ❤️

Keep reminding yourself how unique and temporary this time is. The old adage that the days are long but the years are short rings particularly true during the newborn phase—sleepless nights can feel endless, while weeks can pass in a blur that seems like an instant. 

When things feel right, take a breath and soak them in. Try to be present. And give yourself permission to take as many photos and videos as you want—go ahead and capture just how tiny their curled little toes are, the distinctive sounds they make as they drink their milk, and the funny way their cheeks squish and lips curl as they rest their toothless head against your chest.

When things are difficult, try to let the moments pass without holding on too tightly. Know that they don’t reflect the future or your competence as a parent. Like the good parts, the hard parts are fleeting, too. 

Be honest with your friends and family about what you need. When your baby is brand new, having other people around—even well-intentioned people you love—can be overwhelming. If accepting help, saying no, or setting boundaries makes you feel uncomfortable, you aren’t alone. Here are some examples of ways to be both kind and clear:

• If you aren’t up for daytime visitors: “I wish we could, but not today. Baby and I need a little quiet time to rest and recover. Let’s get in touch next week and set something up.”
• If you’d prefer a short, specific visit: “Yes, we would love to see you. Can you come sometime between 2 and 3pm? That’s when the baby is most likely to be awake.” Or, “I could really use some adult interaction—want to come over for a cup of tea tomorrow night?”
• If you aren’t comfortable with other people holding the baby yet: “The pediatrician recommended we keep her close for now. She’s still building her immune system and hasn’t had all of her vaccinations just yet. She’ll be ready to be held soon!” Try wearing your baby in a wrap or carrier—your friend or family member may understand that taking your baby out of their carrier would be disruptive.  
• If you’d like guests to be mindful of germs: “Do you mind washing your hands? And wearing a mask while you hold her? We’re trying to be really careful until she’s a little older.”
• If someone offers to help: “Since you asked…Rover would really love a long walk,” or “We could really use a home-cooked meal that’s easy to reheat.”