Why children are so attached to their loveys (and what to do if your child loses theirs)

Many children form deep, emotional bonds with stuffed animals, blankets, and even random objects 🙃 Experts agree that a lovey, also known as a “transitional object,” can provide important emotional support during your child’s early years. So what do you do if their beloved Kitty or Blankie gets lost or misplaced?

Losing a lovey can be so upsetting, but it’s also an early opportunity to learn how to manage feelings of loss and sadness, with your support. Explain to your child that you understand why they’re so sad and validate their feelings: “You love Kitty so much. I can see how upset you are.” Try to provide something else that may help in the interim: another stuffed animal, one of your t-shirts, or a long hug. But the hard truth is that your toddler may be difficult to console. 

Some families reserve a duplicate lovey as a backup, but even that doesn’t always work, especially when you’re away from home. Even if you have one handy, children can often tell the difference between the original and a replacement.

Regardless of whether you have a backup, it’s important to be honest with your toddler during times of loss. Telling them “We don’t know where Kitty is, but we will keep looking” shows that you care and that their loss is important to you, too.

In the end, it’s possible that nothing will truly replace the lost item, and sitting with them through their sadness is the only—and best—solution ❤️

Learn more about the research:

Triebenbacher, S. L., & Tegano, D. W. (1993). Children’s use of transitional objects during daily separations from significant caregivers. Perceptual and Motor Skills, 76(1), 89-90.

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